Called to be in a pastoral office is a glorious call though it is very challenging, often lonely, sometimes exciting, frequently frustrating yet extremely satisfying while serving in and through those deeply heartbreaking obstacles. Just as it is imperative for a male pastor to have an assisting soul mate, it is vital for his counterpart to have that special someone to help her in fulfilling the higher divine calling.
Although husbands need to act as an incredibly gentle helping mate but his entire role is not equally same as it is for a pastor’s wife. It clearly signifies that being the husband of a pastor does not mean there is a total role reversal. There arise a question of what the role of a pastor’s husband should be and which role is reversing. There is no single approach to be followed by them (husband), so it may be unable to define or present a closing end answer.
There are certain modifications to be done when it comes to the roles of a lady pastor (pastor who happened to be lady) and for her better half. Even several of the spousal duties might seem akin or completely similar, such as the role of a pastor’s husband is essential to the success of the ministry and to their marriage because his partner is totally engaging herself in leading the congregation. While taking care of the wife as the weaker vessel, he should not rule over her by making the decisions for her in the church and also not be overly protective of her from the critical comments from her ministerial colleagues and the believers.
There are certain crème layer boundaries to be maintained and few suggested guidelines that should be considered. Such as: the husband ought to fully acknowledge his spouse ministry. He must allow her to freely perform her duties as a pastor without overshadowing or influencing her in any way. He is obliged to truly admit that his wife has the authority in the church. Even though the husband is the head in the home he is to aid his wife in the ministry because their souls should serve the Lord together. His positive comments along with positive non-verbal communication can continually guide her to be in the right path. Otherwise if both of them do not cooperate or join hands in the ministry it could negatively affect the church and the role of the pastor.
It has been discovered that when a woman has love and acceptance and her husband’s yearning respect, it will lead to a healthier home and ministry since healthier home gives a better ministerial result. Being a mentor and protector of his wife, the husband should be the ears and eyes for her by timely analyzing sermons, catching grammatical errors, evaluating her works and softly suggesting her mistakes privately so that she is not embarrassed in public. They should team up together for a single purpose and fabricate concord in each stage by jointly developing strategic plan for the husband to timely signal her in advance when things are not going right. The husband is essentially required to apply wisdom to save his wife from public embarrassment when she makes any kind of blunder in private or public. He is often a nurse, healing medicine for emotional wounds that seem to cause many pastors to give up so he should constantly motivate his wife by praising her to do good deeds for the Lord.
Being an honorable family of pastor, the husband is obliged to carefully conduct themselves at the church owing to know that others are keenly observing them. He can be friendly with everyone by helping the church members to catch the vision of the pastor and purpose of the church, yet he is supposed to realize that not everyone is his friend and they will not cooperate in that goal. He should pray for her well being everyday and for the hedge of fortification to be around his wife and family. He should also pray that God will place guardian angels around to protect and guard her and the ministry to be the person God wants her to be in that pastoral position. Besides these discussed points there are many areas in which the husbands can aid and support her. Above all he should offer himself to God to allow the Holy Spirit to use and place him as a helper.